Rob Stuart


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Game of Thrones Double Dactyls

Warning—contains spoilers!

House Targaryen

I.

Maddily, baddily,
Aerys Targaryen
Ruled well enough till he
Went off his head.

We don’t see much of his
Irrationality;
Episode one finds him
Already dead.

House Baratheon

II.

Bastardly, dastardly,
Joffrey Baratheon’s
Cowardly, spoiled and as
Cruel as they come;

Maybe this pattern of
Psychopathology
Stems from his Dad being
Brother to Mum.

III.

Blokeily, pokeily,
Renly Baratheon’s
Marriage to Margaery’s
Simply a screen,

Helping him pose as a
Heterosexual;
Acting the king when he’s
Really a queen.

House Lannister

IV.

Mightily, knightily,
Ser Jaime Lannister
Finds himself robbed of his
Trusty right mitt.

Since he’s not gifted with
Ambidexterity,
Life as a lefty is
Utterly shit.

V.

Impily, wimpily,
Tyrion Lannister’s
Less than adept at the
Warrior’s arts,

Being diminished by
Achondroplasia
(Though he has one of the
Show’s biggest parts.)

Rob Stuart was born in Cambridge, England, in 1972 and lives in England with his partner and daughter. His poems and short stories have been published in magazines, newspapers, and webzines all over the world, including Ink, Sweat and Tears; Light; M58; Magma; New Statesman; The Oldie; Otoliths; Popshot; The Spectator; Storgy; and The Washington Post. He has also written the screenplays for several award-winning and internationally exhibited short films. His website is www.robstuart.co.uk.