by Julia Griffin “Controversial Titanic floating door prop sells for $718,750 The much-debated door from the 1997 film, which only had room to save Kate Winslet’s Rose but not Leonardo DiCaprio’s Jack, has sold at auction” —The Guardian What was it worth, that much-debated door Which saved Kate’s Rose, not Leonardo’s Jack? We know how […]

by Julia Griffin Colbert, you have your answer! Oliver, take a bow! MOTHER OF THREE HAS CANCER. What shall we laugh at now?

by Julia Griffin For Mary “Chocolate chip ice cream, once a year-round staple, has fallen out of favor… [One manufacturer said] chocolate chip has become ‘a market-specific flavor based on consumer preferences.’” —The New York Times Market-specific—that eternal flavor? Consumer preferences? What stupid clown Decides this? My old favorite’s out of favor??? It’s time to […]

by Julia Griffin “Joe Biden confuses Gaza with Ukraine in airdrop announcement” —The Guardian Life can’t be easy in the highest sphere. The Presidency’s not a sinecure, (Though Air Force One is comfortable, I hear, And White House life has some distinct allure— At least from what I gathered on the tour); My point, however, […]

by Julia Griffin “Tube of Ancient Red Lipstick Unearthed in Iran… The lipstick dates to between 1936 and 1687 B.C.E., according to a study … [A]nalysis revealed that the powder is made of hematite…, manganite, braunite, galena, anglesite and plant-based waxes. This mixture… ‘bears a striking resemblance to the recipes of contemporary lipsticks.’ … While […]

by Julia Griffin A cat was cute sometime this week. A timid child began to speak. A widow found a grateful pet. A pauper learned an old barrette Was actually a rare antique. Though Congress seems a broken clique, And globally the outlook’s bleak, Somewhere not far from you, I’ll bet, A cat was cute. […]

by Julia Griffin “A passenger reportedly brought rotten fish on to the plane in a carry-on bag, and placed it in an overhead bin, before the maggots broke free and rained on to passengers seated below…” —The Guardian O how do you manage in transit A fish that’s transcended its best? At check-in they’re looking […]

by Julia Griffin “Canterbury Cathedral defends silent discos against ‘rave in nave’ criticism … The sell-out events… will see clubbers take to the nave in a ’90s-themed disco” —The Independent A rave in the nave? When there’s souls they should save? We’re wishing our bishops knew how to behave! Were there balls in the stalls […]

by Julia Griffin “Andrew Scott: sex scenes less ‘embarrassing’ for audience if one actor plays both characters” —The Guardian I cringe and furiously doodle Whenever two on stage canoodle; A pair of actors making out Has all my blush-genes breaking out. When was a more embarrassed wreck seen Than I, before a four-hand sex scene? […]

by Julia Griffin “’We won world wars out of forts,” [ex-President Trump] said at an event in Rochester, New Hampshire. “Fort Benning, Fort This, Fort That, many forts. They changed the name, we won wars out of these forts, they changed the name, they changed the name of the forts. A lot of people aren’t […]

by Julia Griffin For Sophie—and all the other cat women in my life “It’s Larry the Cat’s Seventeenth Birthday” —YouTube Downing Street, associated Usually with poorly-rated Statesmen blathering or snarling, Fêtes this week its feline darling: Larry, prince of impassivity, Marks his seventeenth nativity. Since age three (so most consider), He has served as rodent-ridder; […]

by Julia Griffin For Siôn “Mouse secretly filmed tidying man’s shed every night” —The Guardian A mouse set a shed that was sloppy right, Thus driving all YouTube berserk. ’Twas Mickey. Since losing his copyright, He needs the work.

by Julia Griffin “Romeo and Juliet, two elderly manatees, get a happy ending For months, Romeo, a sexagenarian manatee, spent his days alone swimming in circles in a small tank at a Miami aquarium. Stuck in another tank was Juliet, also in her 60s, along with a third manatee. … [A] team of veterinarians and […]

by Julia Griffin “[S]cientists warn that warming waters are having dire effects on [cod’s] ability to reproduce.” —The Guardian As global temperatures are rising, Cod numbers fall. Is that surprising? On this, alas, I place reliance: Cod science here is not cod science.

by Julia Griffin “Scientists say mystery of how red wine headaches occur may be solved… A flavanol called quercetin… is processed in the body into various substances. One of these, quercetin glucuronide, turned out to be particularly effective at blocking the enzyme that converts acetaldehyde into acetate.” —The Guardian A flavanol known as quercetin, As […]