Poems of the Week

The Perfect Pint

by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

“This beer pump lets you pour a pint by reading your brain”

To pour the perfect pint of beer, you need
Heroic mental focus, nothing more:
Electric signals from your cortex feed
Perceptions of the pint you hope to pour,
Encoded, to the reader of your mind—
Robotic barman Homer, who works out,
For you, how low the glass should be inclined,
Exactly, and how fast the beer should spout,
Correctly … but beware of drinking late:
The pint of bitter with a perfect head
Pours only if you fully concentrate.
If you’re half-plastered when your mind is read,
Neuronal signals from your EEG
Turn beer to froth—and brew catastrophe!