Poems of the Week

Where’s the Logic?

by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

“The local authority has introduced… £100 fines for anyone using a metal detector [on Cleethorphes Beach in England]. …
[The general secretary of the National Council for Metal Detecting]… believes the objection is that detectorists dig holes,
which he said were usually only a few inches deep and should be filled afterwards. ‘I said to them ‘What about sandcastles,
kids burying their dad
in the sand—have you banned that as well?’ And they said ‘No no no, that’s fine’. … Where’s the logic?'”
The Guardian

When Cleethorpes’ tide was low, detectorists
Hung out and looked for treasure in the sand,
Extracting coins for archaeologists’
Researches. But their digging is now banned.
Enthusiasts are puzzled by this move,
Since little holes are classified as bad,
Though bureaucrats are happy to approve
Holes big enough to bury all your dad—
Except his nose. How can a lesser pit
Leave greater damage? Where’s the logic for
Officialdom that’s willing to permit
Great trenches but bans peepholes on the shore? …
Is metal buried somewhere not too deep
Concealing secrets someone needs to keep?