Rob Stuart


Star Wars Double Dactyls


Dashingly, flashingly,
Lando Calrissian
Brings a significant
Issue to light:

Why should we presuppose
Alien beings come
Only in white?


Naughtily, haughtily,
Emperor Palpatine’s
Thoroughly evil and
Power obsessed.

Here is a person so
Newspaper publishers
Look on, impressed.


Vendible, spendable,
Constable Zuvio’s
Only on screen for a
Second, perhaps.

This doesn’t limit his
Toys of him sell in their
Thousands to saps.

Flipping Heck

For Martha, and Molly too

I knew the pain was likely to provoke
The coining of a racy phrase or two,
And so it did; your swearing masterstroke
Was surely “f**k-a-c**t-a-doodle-doo!”
For reasons unexplained you never cursed
When anyone in scrubs came in to check
On how you were dilating; then the worst
You had to offer up was “flipping heck!”
This prompted me to jokingly convey
A mock apology on your behalf;
“So sorry for that potty-mouthed display,”
Or some such thing. The midwife didn’t laugh;
She gave my arm a reassuring pat
And said, “Don’t fret, we hear far worse than that.”

Rob Stuart was born in Cambridge, England, in 1972. His light verse, visual poetry, and short stories have been published in numerous print and online journals around the world. He has also written the screenplays for several award-winning and internationally exhibited short films. His website is