by Brendan Beary

“Sarah Huckabee Sanders Wants to Be Remembered as ‘Transparent and Honest'”
—Newsweek

“…And I am Marie of Roumania.”
—Dorothy Parker

I’m making big bucks as a poet,
Like no poet ever before;
No editor ever rejects what I write—
In fact, many beg me for more.

Self-consciousness never afflicts me;
My carefree, relaxed joie de vivre
Enlivens the parties I love to attend
(And never seek reasons to leave).

For these are the times that we live in:
All claims are as true as you want.
I’m brusque and aloof, but will soon be recalled
As being a great bon vivant.

Beginner’s luck ever my partner,
Whatever I try comes with ease.
I have the aroma of lilacs in May
On occasion of cutting the cheese.

And our world’s a utopian wonder,
As Sarah H. Sanders makes plain—
For she is transparent and honest and true,
And I am Juan Carlos of Spain.