Read our current issue by clicking on the cover below. Read Light‘s poems of the week
by Bob McKenty
Ever since Cherry Tree George beat the drum,
The president’s role’s been considered a plum.
The prez gets to stand in the limelight, nice guy,
Top Banana, the apple of everyone’s eye.
He may earn the raspberries pundits confer,
But isn’t the type sour grapes will deter.
He won’t give a fig for their critical views,
Which he can succinctly dismiss as “fake news.”
But if it’s a lemon who’s taken the oath,
Let Congress impeach him (that’s pruning for growth).
by Julia Griffin
“Ghislaine Maxwell is the woman at the center of
the Jeffrey Epstein scandal. She’s not been seen in months”
O what has become of the Lady Ghislaine?
She’s vanished with never a trace, or a stain.
Have journalists driven her over the edge,
That billionaire belle with the name that means “pledge”?
A rumor is running (you know how they are)
That Lady Ghislaine’s gone the way of her Pa,
Who somehow contrived the most tragic of stunts:
Fell overboard, drowned, and was fished out at once
And recognized—settling thereby the hash
Of those he had owed an abundance of cash.
His enemies suffered quite genuine pain
When Maxwell was lost from the Lady Ghislaine—
For this was the name of both daughter and boat.
In any Ghis-contest, the boat gets my vote:
Both sailed in deep water, more flashy than sure;
But human Ghislaine sank the young and the poor.
O Lady Ghislaine, there are rumors at large:
There’s talk of subpoenas, and even a charge …
Though optimists swear we will see you again,
I’ll wait for your funeral, Lady Ghislaine.
by Jerome Betts
“The Apostrophe Protection Society has closed, because ‘ignorance has won,’“
“Grocer’s apostrophe: [in British English] NOUN an apostrophe placed before
a final s intended to indicate the plural but in fact forming the possessive.”
The protectors, it seems, have begun a retreat,
The sticklers withdrawn to their lairs.
How sad it must be thus to suffer defeat
By the sellers of apple’s and pear’s.
by Orel Protopopescu
“Mr. Hunter, a Republican congressman known for his hard-line views
and early support for President Trump, pleaded guilty on Tuesday…
to conspiracy to steal campaign funds.”
—The New York Times
Duncan Hunter pleaded guilty,
though he said it was his wife
who took care of their finances,
since he has a busy life.
Nothing makes this tale surprising,
though the bunny adds excitement.
Just another Trump supporter
by Chris O’Carroll
They met cute by swapping insults—
“Dotard,” “Little Rocket Man.”
Then a propaganda game of
Bromance photo ops began.
Dotard envied Little Rocket
Man his unchecked tyrant clout.
“Phony Constitution,” Dotard
Pouted, “makes me do without.”
Dotard cooed, “I now see Little
Rocket Man through lover’s eyes.
Our relationship’s so great it
Should win me a Nobel Prize.”
Little Rocket Man and Dotard
Broke up. Now they’re angry exes
Threatening to demonstrate how
Hot and nasty break-up sex is.