by Dan Campion

“President Trump kicked off his trip to Europe with a biting critique of the United States’ longtime allies, declaring at a breakfast meeting that Germany ‘is captive to Russia.’ Next to him, three of his senior officials seemed uncomfortable at times, pursing their lips and glancing away from the table. … In a statement to The Post, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said, ‘[Gen. John Kelly] was displeased because he was expecting a full breakfast and there were only pastries and cheese.’”—The Washington Post

I miss my customary fare.
Alas, the sideboard’s almost bare.
I’ll look forlorn. They’ll have a heart
And send a proper breakfast cart.
My President is speaking, though—
I’ll do my best to smile and glow. . .
Nope, nothing doing. In a pet,
A four-star needs an omelet.

by Jerome Betts

It’s hardly civil in a guest
To stab his hostess in the chest
With praise of one more crass buffoon
Who hopes to dispossess her soon.
Bad form, not cricket, bloody bumptious—
Or should we rather term it Trumptious?

by Julia Griffin

(with apologies to Byron)

“Now experts say it’s possible the Supreme Court could reverse the landmark ruling that legalised abortion nationwide in America more than 40 years ago.”—ABC News [Australia]

So, we’ll bet no more on Rovie,
For years a legal right;
The Court has long been mauvey;
It’s looking red tonight.

For a law’s good health depends
On favor more than truth,
And Rovie has few friends
But Elena, Sonia, Ruth;

And though they’re holding steady,
I’m very much afraid
That the tide has turned already.
Watch poor Rovie wade.

by Bruce McGuffin

“[Starbucks] said Monday that by 2020, it will be using straws made from biodegradable materials like paper and specially designed lids.”—The Boston Globe

We teetered on the edge of the abyss,
brought to the brink of doom by plastic straws.
Who ever thought the world would end like this?
Then Starbucks bravely rallied to our cause!

The clouds of gloom disperse, the sun shines through.
“Three cheers!” I say and raise a grateful venti.
“To Starbucks, they have saved us, yes it’s true!
If we can just hold on till 2020.”

by Chris O’Carroll

We know that he’s a fan of breasts.
He’s said 10s seldom have flat chests.
But should the WHO
Promote breastfeeding? No, no, no!
Hooters are for recreation,
Not gross pastimes like lactation.
No wonder his administration
(Eyeing a big campaign donation?)
Favors any corporation
With a faux milk formulation.