by Dan Campion

She rendered hymns vernacular
In tones till then unheard,
Achieved effects spectacular
Just spelling out a word,

And in melisma had no peer
Throughout the earthly choir.
Aretha, in a lofty sphere,
Will lead the chorus higher.

by Edmund Conti

Trump revokes Brennan’s clearance

I cannot brook
Your interference,
Though you killed off Osama,
And so I took
Your secret clearance.
And I pissed off Obama.

by Orel Protopopescu

Hush, Omarosa, don’t say a word,
Papa’s gonna buy you a Thunderbird.
But if a vintage car won’t do,
Papa’s got a slush fund to see you through.

Did I scream Fired? Just stand the heat,
and then you can live on Easy Street.
But if you dare to let me down,
you won’t be the sweetest little flunky in town.

by Julia Griffin

“Prominent white supremacist scolded on video by his father”—The Guardian

Heil, guys! Are you up for some news
Not faked by those commies and Jews
Out plotting our doom?
Will you look at this room!
You have got to start wiping your shoes.

You know what George Soros adores?
Non-Aryans flooding our shores,
And spoiling Jim Crow.
Plus your mom wants to know
If the socks in the bathroom are yours.

Let’s make those old liberals cower,
As we march down the street in our power!
Bring it all to a head!
Did you hear what I said?
It’s your very last chance for a shower.

The Master Race needs to unite!
Remember: be proud that you’re white,
Non-Muslim, and men.
It is ten after ten,
And I’m switching the lights out. Goodnight.