Read our current issue, below. Read Light‘s poems of the week
by Julia Griffin
“The National Rifle Association (NRA) deleted a tweet [from a gun maker] on Wednesday evening… . [It] featured a heart-shaped pillow with two guns resting on it. The caption read: ‘Give your significant other something they’ll appreciate this Valentine’s Day.’”—Business Insider, February 15, 2018
Red roses and pussy willow:
Think that will impress your date?
Two guns on a heart-shaped pillow:
Now that she’ll appreciate!
No-hopers and hogs give candy;
Bad hombres and drunks give wine;
Old Grandaddy types give shandy,
Or bunches of columbine;
Bouquets might have pleased her mother—
Chicks now want a bullet spray;
So give your significant other
An AK-9 Valentine’s Day!
by David Hedges
The military’s newest branch
Is seeking lovely young recruits.
Fox News predicts an avalanche
Of femmes with stunning attributes.
The President himself will choose
The candidates who score the best
In lengthy private interviews.
Then those who pass the swimsuit test
Will train at Mar-a-Lago’s gym
To march in lockstep, two by two,
And sing the U.S.C.S. Hymn,
“Red Lips, White Skin, and Eyes of Blue.”
by Bob McKenty
Intensely, like a seasoned pro,
The mogul skier braves the snow—
Attacks the washboard, potholed slope
That jars her body. Still, she’ll cope.
Another record is effaced!
(Next year she’ll have her knees replaced.)
by Orel Protopopescu
Mick Mulvaney makes it plain he
runs a bureau he abhors.
Got the goods on payday lenders?
Watch your fingers! Mick slams doors!
He’s so “humble,” people mumble
prayers when Mick takes out his knife.
Did the sharks eat all your money?
Mick the Knife says, Get a life.
And should Kelly do a belly
flop, who’s waiting in the wings?
Rumors fly that Trump is eyeing
Tricky Mick for better things.
by Mae Scanlan
Pruitt got a special favor:
He obtained a written waiver
So that he could fly first class,
Costing us big bucks. What brass!
How presumptuous—Great Scott!
But “great” is what this Scott is not.