by Steven Kent

“Bolsonaro Diehards Take To Streets Of Brazil To Urge Firing Squads And Coup”
—The Guardian

Our man’s in trouble! Let us go
To show our might in rallies.
We’ll strike down cops and judges in
A slew of bloody sallies.

For Jair and country we would fight
And die if God should will it,
But now to save democracy
I guess we have to kill it.

by Jennifer Reeser

“… you know, the—what looks like a tornado—they don’t call them that anymore…”
—Joe Biden

Tornado’s not the term these days
for catastrophic, pull-up plans.
I nominate a fitter phrase.
Let’s call them Joe’s Afghanistans.

by Alex Steelsmith

“TikTokers bombard Texas anti-abortion whistleblower website with Shrek porn…”
—NBC

TikityTokity,
prurient images
target a website in
efforts to short-

circuit a mission that
antiabortionists
otherwise certainly
wouldn’t abort.

by Nora Jay

“Naked woman, 28, drives golf cart into Florida standoff scene with armed suspect”
—Fox News

Nude babe, golf, guns, and Florida: it’s checking every box.
Farewell, high-minded Guardian! The world’s more fun on Fox.

by Bruce McGuffin

“Police are responding to an unconfirmed report of a mime assaulting passers-by.”
—Citizen.com

He hunts in the square, on the street, in the park,
We don’t know who he is, but he’s one scary clown.
If you watch him perform you could be the next mark
Of this mime spreading chaos and mayhem downtown.
If selected you’re doomed to your hideous fate,
No you won’t hear him coming until it’s too late.

by Paul Lander

Jean-Paul Belmondo
Au revoir at eighty-eight
Leaving us Breathless.

by Dan Campion

“Australian duck named Ripper learns to swear after imitating humans”
—New York Post

“You bloody fool,” intones the duck,
A mild oath, be it said,
Compared to stuff we humans cluck.
I’d swear this duck’s well-bred.

by Julia Griffin

“The Griffin Warrior: A Staggering Discovery from Ancient Greece”
—Greek Reporter

The Warrior was “prominent,” in status and in jaw;
The Griffin, though of ivory, was grand in beak and claw;
Combined, they were redoubtable: men staggered at the sight,
An action, I believe, not only natural but right.

by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

Push gently on the cradle. Coo some tunes.
Expect your child to fall asleep, and soon! …
Regret you over-sugared Baby’s prunes?
Find Baby wants to dance to any tune? …
Examine why your soporific song
Can’t lull your child to sleep: the tune? Your voice?
The rocker that the cradle’s on is wrong? …
Let science find your perfect rocker choice:
U2’s lead singer, Bono! He’s your man—
Lab data linked to Spotify now prove
LP track “One” from Achtung Baby can
Arrest your baby’s late-night urge to groove! …
Be mindful of some vitriolic rhyme—
Yet play “One” all the same. You need down time!