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WEEK OF AUGUST 31

by Julia Griffin

“Tropical Storm Dolly is moving quickly across the Atlantic Ocean… ‘Heavy rain from Dolly could affect the Leeward Islands late Saturday into Sunday…'”
—The Guardian

This heavy rain from Dolly
Will whip the ocean white;
The prospect isn’t jolly,
This heavy rain from Dolly;
Be sure to take a brolly,
And as you grip it tight,
Salute our other Dolly,
Whose reign was very light.

by Stephen Gold

“Pope Leo XIV lands on Vanity Fair’s best dressed list”
—USA Today

I never thought my choice of shoe
And cap would win applause. Did you?
The Lord be praised that stylish dress
Is so in tune with godliness.

by Marshall Begel

“Russian Orthodox cleric urges Russians to silently endure fuel shortages, calls protesters ‘unspiritual people'”
—Moscow Monitor

There’s no reason to fret when it’s harder to get
gasoline for your automobile.
We know those who believe are assured to receive
what they need to survive this ordeal.

Though it may hit a nerve, buckle down and conserve
like our ancestors managed before.
The good Lord’s on our side so He’s sure to provide
and remember, it’s not our first war.

I expect this discussion compels every Russian
to pray through the fighting’s duration.
As you make your way out I’ll remind the devout
to deposit their hefty donation.

by Dan Campion

“As C.T.E. Cases Soar, Why Do Football Crowds Still Go Wild?”
—The New York Times

Uh, why did Romans shout and cheer
To see the gladiators bleed?
You think we’re different? Lend an ear:
“Great Hit!!” There’s all the “why” you need.

by Steven Kent

“Relax, everyone: Elon Musk has a mantra to make the climate crisis go away”
—The Guardian

Big solutions? Here’s the pitch, guys:
Trust our so-enlightened rich guys
Casting off bourgeois behaviors,
Messianic self-made saviors.

Hurtful, how they’re called hubristic;
Who could be more altruistic?
Odd, though, how their famed acumen
Rarely helps one hurting human.

by Jay Rogoff

Christopher Nolan
Should have stolen
More of Homer’s theodicy
For his three-hour film adaptation of The Odyssey.

by Felicia Nimue Ackerman

“Our critic A.O. Scott’s latest poetry close read focuses on just 20 exquisite words [counting the poem title] written by Ezra Pound.”
—The New York Times

A 20-word verse
Is bracingly terse.

by Eddie Aderne

“Wisconsin kitten with 29 toes breaks world record for most toes on a cat: Maine Coon named Erebus Anomaly breaks previous record of 28 toes held for over two decades…“
—The Guardian

Fidgety digity,
Feline Anomaly
Now holds the record for
Number of toes;

That surely merits a
Hyperdactylical
Tribute, so this is a
Start (and a close).