by Dan Campion

A storm is coming. Batten down,
Grab what you can, clear out of town.
Oh, on your way—don’t take offense—
Please leave the keys with Mr. Pence.

by Michael Calvert

NASA is looking at boosting its brand by selling naming rights to rockets and spacecraft and allowing its astronauts to appear in commercials and on cereal boxes.

Alas, we once were glamorous—
The stuff we had was right.
But cuts began to hammer us—
We’re in financial plight.

Though formerly we always thought
That ads would be a no-go,
We now admit we might be bought,
So please submit your logo.

For any product, we’ll be there
To make your message soar—
And help your brand go boldly where
No brand has gone before.

by Julia Griffin

“10-year-old expected to make full recovery after falling from tree[house] and landing on meat skewer that penetrated his skull.”—The Guardian

How many can boast, like young Xavier Cunningham,
A skewer passed through ’em without even stunning ’em?

Here’s hoping those tree houses number still fewer,
Constructed right over an up-ended skewer.