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WEEK OF MAY 18

by Steven Kent

(with apologies to Ogden Nash and Willie Nelson)

“FBI defends Kash Patel after report alleging he gifts custom whiskey bottles”
—The Guardian

Brandy is handy,
But liquor flows quicker
From stashes like Kash’s.

(May 1–14, 2026)

by Julie Steiner

This is not a test. Giraffe.
Lion. Alligator. Bear.
This is not a golden calf.

Trump’s not saying “I don’t care.”
This is not a rambling rant.
Lion. Alligator. Bear.

Tucker’s not a sycophant.
Trump is not the Antichrist.
This is not a rambling rant.

Grift. Extortion. Hijack. Heist.
This is conflict, not a war.
Trump is not the Antichrist.

Two plus two is five, not four.
This is not a Vietnam.
This is conflict, not a war.

Billions. Ballroom. Bombast. Bomb.
This is not a golden calf.
This is not a Vietnam.
This is not a test. Giraffe.

by Marshall Begel

“‘We’re all human’: Richard Tice responds to Reform Sheffield candidate accused of praising Nazis”
—Yorkshire Post

(Apologies to George Orwell)

“Blokes of England, lads of Ireland,
chaps of every UK clime,
vote Reform since times are dire and
current laws bring stress and crime!

Though our members sometimes dabble
in sporadic racist speeches
casting blame on foreign rabble
showing up on England’s beaches,

don’t buy into leftist doom (in
case it makes you doubt your brothers).
After all, we’re only human
(some more human, though, than others).”

by Julia Griffin

“[For the phenomenon of] heteropaternal superfecundation… [a] woman has to release more than one egg during the same menstrual cycle. She has to have more than one partner during her fertile window. More than one egg must be successfully fertilised, with sperm from different men … [The resulting embryos will be] twins and half-[siblings]”
—The Guardian

Heteropaternal
Superfecundation:
Little that we learn’ll
Merit more ovation.

Happy double kernel
Shares a rare gestation:
Heteropaternal
Superfecundation.

by Steven Kent

“As Hungary Gets a New Leader, the ‘Trauma’ Sinks in for Orban Loyalists … [M]any who depended on Fidesz for jobs and protection are already changing sides.”
—The New York Times

The new guy? We love him!
There’s no one above him!
So full, our defection
Since April’s election.
Fidesz, we deserted;
We’re fully converted!

I swear, by September
We will not remember
Orban, who enriched us,
But never bewitched us
Like Magyar, our new boss.
We’re loyal to you, boss!

by Steven Urquhart Bell

“Panic as North Carolina neighborhood is overtaken by vultures…”
– Daily Mail

At my age I suspect there’s stuff
The doctor isn’t telling me,
So I would panic too because
I’d think the birds were smelling me.

by Ruth S. Baker

“David Attenborough, a Voice of Nature, Turns 100”
—The New York Times

The giant turtle conclave met,
Not quorum but full plenary:
“Let’s celebrate,” they called, “en fête,
“Sir David’s first centenary!”

Meanwhile, cavorting round the fens,
A mayfly sang: “Behold
Earth’s favorite homo sapiens:
Ten million lifetimes old!”