by Susan McLean

Body and soul are fed by wheat,
the Bible tells us. Jesus ate
wheat bread, so that’s what we must eat
for him to transubstantiate.

Low-gluten wafers there may be,
so long as they have wheat as well,
but Jesus can’t be gluten free.
You celiacs can go to hell.

by Chris O’Carroll

So the Russians have dirt
That could help put some hurt
On the Hillary Clinton campaign?
Exclaims Junior Don,
“I love it.” Game on.
Screw ethics. Team Trump stands to gain.

When the press blows the whistle,
Don sneers a dismissal:
Reports about Russia are “lies.”
He’s a well-tutored youth
Whose disdain for the truth
Defines the Trump brand—no surprise.

At the art of denying
What he’s done and decrying
“Fake news,” Senior Don’s the big star.
No one can surpass
That supreme horse’s ass,
But the road apple didn’t fall far.

by Cody Walker

Nadal’s
comeback stalls—
and zut, it’s Gilles!
For realz.

And now things look dreary
in a hurry
for Andy Murray!
(Bam: Sam Querrey.)

We’re back
on serve—but no!—
there goes Novak!
Shoulder? Elbow?

Federer,
as everer,
is betterer.