by Chris O’Carroll

I’m a Chateau
Crazy Mofo,
I’m a complex wine.
This Prez don’t choose
Any old booze,
But he’ll swill down mine.

by Julia Griffin

“Banksy Painting Self-Destructs After Fetching $1.4 Million at Sotheby’s”—
New York Times

Just as Banksy’s best-known art—
Little girl with blow-up heart—
Went beneath the hammer, for
All the dealers hoped, and more,
Earning it still greater fame,
Lo! inside the picture frame
An invisibly embedded
Shredder came to life and shredded.
Luckily this naughty act
Left the painting’s heart intact:
Experts quickly came to grips
With a little girl in strips,
And confirmed the worth increased
By four million pounds at least:
Inflating thus the love and cheer
Of buyer and of auctioneer.

by Joanna Bird

Maurizio “Zanza” Zanfanti, a prolific Latin lover, died immediately after making love in his car, which was parked in his family’s peach grove.

Maurizio “Zanza” Zanfanti,
Whose conquests hit staggering numbers,
Has died in delicto flagrante
And gone to his post-coital slumbers.

He pleasured the female profusion
That sunbathed on Rimini’s beaches.
As in life, so his death: a conclusion
While surrounded by sun-ripened peaches.

by Chris O’Carroll

President Nelson (best not call him Russ),
As Heaven’s new point man, is making a fuss.
As sure as he’s sure that Joe Smith was no fraud,
He’s certain that nicknames are frowned on by God.
For “Latter-day Saints,” may we say “LDS”?
He’s thundering no where Saints used to say yes.
If anyone these days should call him a “Mormon,”
He’d call that an error in need of reformin’.
We must say the whole name, says President Russ.
No slack on this score is Russ cutting for us.

by Julia Griffin

“I’m saying this horse knew me,” Neeson said… “He actually remembered me from another western we made a while back … He whinnied when he saw me. And pawed the ground.”
—The Guardian

Liam? Ah yes. I perfectly recall
How I observed him hanging round my stall
All through the shoot… It was a Western, so
We needed humans (all quite safe, you know!).
So now he’s back? I hope I’m not aloof;
I can’t, however, claim I raised my hoof
At his return—and let me, if I may,
State categorically, I did not neigh.
Still, never mind. I’m happy to provide
A co-performer with a source of pride;
For they have feelings too, let’s not forget:
The animals one works beside on set.

by Steven Clayman

How do you make the case
For Kavanaugh on SCOTUS?
Just whitewash the disgrace,
The ranting that took place,
The lying to your face,
And hope no one will notice.