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WEEK OF FEBRUARY 23

by Timothy Steele

“President Trump on Friday lashed out at Supreme Court justices who struck down a key part of his tariffs agenda, calling them . . . ‘fools, lapdogs and a disgrace to our nation.’”
—Los Angeles Times

Abuse and smear, and rant and rail,
But those folks kept you out of jail.
You like awards. Take this one, Dude.
Gold Medal for Ingratitude.

by Janet Kenny

The Windsor family’s sorely tested
now bonny ex-prince has been arrested.
There’s always one, and the favorite son
has provided more smut than the British press did.

by Stephen Gold

“Palmerston, a rescue cat who became the chief mouser of the [British] Foreign Office, has died in Bermuda.”
—The Guardian

Rest in peace, dear Palmerston.
We’re grieved that you have passed,
Although the mice will be relieved
That you are gone at last.

It’s truly a catastrophe
To learn that you are dead.
Was it curiosity
That killed you, as is said?

Or did a cataclysm
Catapult you from your home
Unto your final resting place
(Perhaps a catacomb)?

I fear that we shall never know
The final catalyst.
Regardless, categorically,
You’ll be profoundly missed.

The dogged laws of nature bear
Upon both cats and men.
Alas, although you had nine lives,
You really needed ten.

by Anna M. Evans

Team Gold is won by one young skater
(although the poor sod does fall later).
Some speed, some jumps, a LOT of twirling.
We fall in love (again!) with curling.

by Marshall Begel

More Than a Third of College Students Check Social Media or Text During Sex”
—People

Babe, I love the way you smell
Mr. Beast can go to hell

This way? Okay, watch your knee.
Simp gave up and ghosted me

Need me higher? How is that?
LOL—that zesty cat!

Maybe go a little faster?
Hinge is a complete disaster

Pookie—that’s it—yes, Yes, YES!
Almost done here, SYS

That performance gets a speech—
let me start with eggplant, peach.

by Steven Urquhart Bell

“Dark showering: Scientists reveal health benefits of washing with the lights off before bed”
—Daily Mail

My waning health is going in
The opposite direction;
I feel a whole lot younger now
I can’t see my reflection.

by Julia Griffin

“Italy’s famous Lovers’ Arch collapses into the sea on Valentine’s Day:
Rock structure which served as backdrop to countless proposals disappears into the Adriatic after storm.”
—The Guardian

(After Ophelia)

“Tomorrow is St. Valentine’s Day,”
The Arch enticed the Sea;
“The kids will soon be smooching: say,
What chance of you and me?”

Then up he whipped and roundly gripped
Her stones, so firm before,
And left her scourged and half-submerged
And really Arch no more.

Quoth she: “Before you tumbled me
We made the cutest pair!”
He waved a wave. “You were my fave;
But when you talk sexy, take care.”

by Paul Lander

Board of Peace meets up.
Donald goes nappy nap, so:
More like bored of peace.

by Dan Campion

“Jesse Jackson, Charismatic Champion of Civil Rights, Dies at 84”
—The New York Times

Amid conditions full of spite
He spread a rainbow filled with light.

Stood up and marched for what was right.
He spread a rainbow filled with light.

Kept hope alive with wit and might.
He spread a rainbow filled with light.

A spirit free at last in flight
He spread a rainbow filled with light.