by Chris O’Carroll

Though they tortured our guy in their prison,
Kim has said he knew nothing about it.
Ever since our first beautiful summit,
I’m in love with him, so I don’t doubt it.

I believe in the Prince and in Putin
When they say to me strongly, sincerely
That they’re not into bone saws and hacking.
They’re tough leaders and I love them dearly.

By canoodling with Kim for the cameras,
I have proved I should win the Nobel.
He’s still got his nuclear weapons,
But believe me, the deal’s going well.