by Julia Griffin

“Man who invented labradoodle says it’s his ‘life’s regret'”
—The Guardian

I too have much that I regret—
My posture, temper, snacking,
And other flaws that I forget;
But this I swear is lacking:

The least acquaintance with the new
Geneticist caboodle;
And thus I’ve left unmixed and true
The labrador and poodle.

I may be lazy, panicky,
And something of a meanie,
But don’t attempt to blame on me
The chusky or chiweenie;

I’ve much to be repentant for,
But, though I own great folly,
I’ve never bred a bassador
Or peekapoo or gollie.

And so, St. Peter, in a few:
I’m flaky as a strudel,
But this at least I didn’t do—
Invent the labradoodle.