by David Hedges

“We had twenty mountain climbers. That’s all they do—they love to climb mountains. They can have it. Me, I don’t want to climb mountains. But they’re very good, and some of them were champions. And we gave them different prototypes of walls, and this was the one that was hardest to climb.”—Donald Trump, Leader of the Free World

When twenty climbers went to test
My wall, one section proved the best;

This was the prototype I chose,
The one that snookered alpine pros.

My message here is crystal clear:
Only the most skilled mountaineer

Can scale my wall’s imposing face,
My tribute to the master race.

(If you believe this latest tale
You’ll love the bridge I have for sale.)