by Ruth S. Baker

“[New Twitter star] cigarette cockroach is giving [older Twitter star] pizza rat a run for its money in New York”
—CNN

Cigarette Cockroach is taking the air,
Smoke-scented spiracles gently aflare,
Barely perceptibly raising his hat
In the direction of Pizza King Rat.
Weighing the chances that each of them has,
Rat, say the pundits, rates first for pizzazz;
Roach, by comparison, has it for class.
Though among rodents mere whiskers might pass,
Next to antennae they look like old strings;
Nor has plain spine the charisma of wings.
“Hey!” cackles Razza, his jaws full of cheese,
“Siggi can’t even support his own fleas.
Voting for me, all you fauna should know,
You vote for yourselves. I’m the dude with the dough.”