by Ruth S. Baker

“A California man has filed a lawsuit after he was injured trying to flee from a bear
that surprised him in a Lake Tahoe dumpster.”
—The Guardian

Dear Sir, you’re warned (to give the gist)
To cease and also to desist
And hasten to be reconciled.
In re this suit, so rashly filed,
We are reliably advised
Our client was the one surprised
By you when merely looking in
Chez Dumpster for an opened tin.
To claim for injuries incurred
By foolish flight is quite absurd:
We may not, should you stay defiant,
Be able to restrain our client
From wielding, in this rightful cause,
The Bears’ Retaliative Clause.