by Nicole Caruso Garcia

It wasn’t always a taboo,
But now is cause for shame.
And oh, you know the thing I mean,
And oh, it has a name.

Our kinks should be addressed—why not?
My husband didn’t mind,
Whether I was all alone
Or we were intertwined.

I’d like to praise it openly;
It’s healthy, not exotic.
In my defense, it didn’t use to
Be unpatriotic.

Invented by a clown of theirs,
It made right-wingers cheer.
(My friends are libs and libertines;
It’s their rebuke I fear.)

My money in the pockets of
That mustached wacko guy,
I cringe to think we nearly kissed
Democracy goodbye.

So rest assured, I feel some guilt
About this peccadillo.
I don’t know how I sleep at night
On Mike Lindell’s MyPillow®.