by Steven Urquhart Bell

“A new range of gardening-themed condoms have been launched
to encourage older Brits to practice safe sex.”
—Scotland on Sunday

Safe sex at my age means
Remembering to take
A puff on my inhaler
Before I act the rake.
The spirit’s still as keen—
The lungs are rather frailer.

Some men have reputations
For making love for hours.
I too have learnt the knack,
In flowerbeds or bowers,
Of exercising patience—
I’ve got a dodgy back.