by Stephen Gold

“Trials halted by barrister walkout over low pay for criminal defence”
—The Times

Justice delayed is justice denied.
Though you know we would love to be right by your side,
Be you murderer, fraudster, molester or thief,
It’s courting starvation to take on your brief.

We’re pissed at perennial poorly-paid gigs,
So what’s to be done? We’re all scratching our wigs.
But here’s one career that will keep us well fed:
We’re going to retrain as baristas instead.