by Steven Urquhart Bell

“Smoke billows into the sky after massive fire breaks out in Oldham”
—Metro

I’m saving up for when I settle down;
I fancy Oldham after I retire.
It must be quite an uneventful town
If headline news is “Smoke is caused by fire.”

I’d have to take a modicum of care,
And not go out without my beanie on.
A man in middle age with greying hair—
Reporters would be camping on the lawn.