The Psychic Hotline Walkout
Call after call, low pay, high stress—
then months on strike without success.
Soon scabs were working every phone
as clients said, “They should have known.”
Martha’s Vineyard Cop Show
Each week Lieutenant Thomas Heid defeats
the hoodlums of Menemsha’s meanest streets.
Lockjawed interrogations end this way:
“At Prinshton in my day we used to say…”
(much like Columbo’s line “Just one more thing…”).
It keeps both crooks and colleagues wondering
until relentless loops of Carly Simon songs
compel a suspect to confess his wrongs.
Brash Harvard Law professors stepping in
at trial can’t begin to get a win,
although they get exposure on the news.
Illegal fishing, fake designer shoes,
joyrides in golfcarts, kids with alcohol—
the good lieutenant investigates them all.
His ratings rise and crime, while high, is down;
Nantucket lowlifes dare not come to town.