by Stephen Gold

“Potty-mouthed parrots rehoused to clean up their language”
—The Times

This is Tyson, an African Grey,
And perpetual cause of dismay.
It is hard not to scowl
At this foulest of fowl
Squawking smut every hour of the day.

So we’ve put him with birds better bred,
In the hope they’ll get into his head.
Though today they were shocked,
When he told them, “Get flocked!”
(And that wasn’t the worst thing he said.)

We regret he’s just one of a group
That loves swooping around talking poop.
The same fate now awaits
These disorderly mates—
Though we’re thinking about parrot soup!