by Stephen Gold

“Dutch division of [accounting firm] KPMG fined $25m for cheating in exams.”
—The Times

When examinations tax,
Don’t you worry, just relax,
We are always at your side to lend support.
Why leave anything to chance?
Get the answers in advance!
Playing fair should be the very last resort.

If you think this is a sin,
What’s the world you’re living in?
All that matters is to get that vital pass.
To be ethical is fine,
But for us, the bottom line
Is to never be the bottom of the class.

Giving credit where it’s due
Is commendable, that’s true.
But a more important lesson to be taught,
Is that in the modern day,
There’s an even better way,
Namely, taking all the credit where it’s not!