by Philip Kitcher

This nation yearns for leaders who are young,
And I am keen to swear that solemn oath.
The practiced master of the double tongue,
I’m on one ticket. Why not run on both?

The model of a modern demagogue,
For any cause I choose, I tune my voice.
Debate? A schizophrenic dialogue,
From which I’ll exit as the people’s choice.

I change opinions as I change my socks.
My guiding maxim: Principles are cheap.
I seize each opportunity that knocks.
Cat-lady Ddear Kamala, I’d love to be your Veep.