by Philip Kitcher

“Recent research suggests that moderate drinking may not have any significant benefits
for longevity, and may even increase the risk of death and chronic disease.”
—The New York Times

Dietetic education
Told me, “Sip in moderation.
A glass of red can keep you in the pink.”
Wine and I were bosom buddies
Till the latest killjoy studies
Revived the gospel of the demon drink.

My bruschetta’s charms are scanty
When divorced from a Chianti.
The insalata verde is a bore.
Mia sposa offers pasta—
My response is simply: Basta!
Desserts are not as dolci as before.

Now, without the Côtes du Rhône,
Each brioche has turned to stone.
My quiche aux épinards needs some Chablis.
As I munch ma madeleine
I can never feel again
That welling up of childhood memory.

Lacking wine, I’m feeling peaky
As I swallow my tzatziki.
The spanakopita has lost its taste.
Kyria mou answers “No”
To some Agiorgitiko.
Our Greek cuisine becomes a barren waste.

No more tapas con Rioja,
Life is sadder, grayer, slower,
Gazpacho’s lost its zest, and so has flan.
Mi amor, let us be gayer!
Tempranillo and paella!
Let’s drink and just accept a shorter span!