by Gail White

“Collector eats world-famous 6.2 million dollar banana”
—CNN

When I was young, before I knew what art was all about,
I tried to charge a million dollars for a Brussels sprout.
I put it on a pedestal and placed it under glass,
but all the critics told me not to be a silly ass.
I little knew that all the wealth I dreamed of would befall
if only I had duct-taped a banana to the wall.

I could have sold that sucker for 6 million (lucky me!)
to some fat cat whose billions came from cryptocurrency.
And he’d have eaten it before it had a chance to rot,
but I’d have said, “Who cares?” while spending all the dough I’d got!
I’m feeling quite embittered at the way my life turned out…
I might have gone bananas, but I backed a Brussels sprout.