W/rapping
(With apologies to Jay-Z)
I’m the paper greatest, I’m the sticky tape-est,
I wrap to win, yeah, I’m a wrapping ninja.
I did my gift list, now I’m down to business.
Precise incisions with my household scissors.
Makes no difference if it’s big or small,
I’m so gifted I can gift wrap balls.
Slice here, fold there, just like that.
Curl the ribbon, tie a bow, and that’s a wrap.
A bicycle or a tricycle,
a nice sickle or an icicle,
a Ken and Barbie or a new Ferrari,
I wrapped them all, still got time to party!
Using every little bit of paper up,
I’m so tough I like paper cuts.
Two sleeps to go, you know I’m already done,
I got ninety-nine presents and I wrapped each one.
David Hyland Mitchell is an academic at Trinity College Dublin, and is author of many scholarly and journalistic works. He has self-published three children’s books and was a finalist at the 2023 and 2022 Belfast Book Festival poetry slams. His poems have recently appeared in Lighten Up Online.