by Thomas Germana

“As Americans flock to the country’s coasts—and to the lakes and rivers in between—in the heat of summer,
they may be doing so despite the presence of fecal matter. A stark 1,930 out of 3,187 beaches sampled across the nation
in 2024 experienced at least one day on which indicators of fecal contamination exceeded federal safety levels…”
—The Hill

The moment Summer rolls around
At last, my ass is coastal-bound.
They found some feces, yeah, I know—
It’s still my favorite place to go.