by Clyde Always

“Naked man wearing only balaclava and plastic clogs—and carrying sex toy on a stick—
terrifies European tourists [in Slovakia]”
—New York Post

“Naked man in gimp mask caught on bizarre video prowling quiet town [in England]”
—New York Post

In two distinct cases
a mask-wearing outlaw
was spotted. One slinks
and the other one struts.

If asked what the photos
of both of these fugitives
clearly expose, I would
answer: they’re nuts.