by Julia Griffin

“A charismatic, tweed-wearing grower from Perthshire falsely claimed to be able to create thriving tea plantations
in Scotland. His elaborate deception took in luxury hotels, media outlets and tea growers across the country”
—The Guardian

A tweed-wearing grower from Perth
Observed the deplorable dearth
Of local-grown tea
So he grew some (said he),
And he milked it for all he was worth.

The experts first hailed him, but soon
Indignantly altered their tune:
Now shown as a sham,
Mr. Tweed’s in a jam,
And they’re specially sorry in Scone.