by Brendan Beary

“Canadian zoo faces charges after taking bear out for ice cream at Dairy Queen“—The Guardian

Those zoo folks in Alberta,
They really are the worst—
To take their bear out on the town,
But go for ice cream first!

For Mr. Kodiak, et al.,
Had plans to get some chow
At that Moroccan place downtown;
He won’t be hungry now!

They’ve dined out many times before—
Tandoori, tacos, Thai—
But saved dessert for last; that’s been
The rule they’ve traveled by.

He’s got a massive appetite,
As one can understand,
And thus he’s apt to gorge upon
Whatever’s first at hand,

But now they’re at the Dairy Queen
Before they realize—Oops!
He’s asking for a sundae with
One hundred sixty scoops!

And now the whole town’s mad at you;
Sometimes you just can’t win.
Zookeepers, heed the lesson here,
And next time, order in.