by Mae Scanlan

to the tune of “Gonna Take a Sentimental Journey”

I just took a monumental journey
On Air Force One to Singapore;
‘Twas not Barack, or Hillary or Bernie,
No, it was ME! I warded off war!

This Kim Jong Un, he’s got a lot of talent;
I sized him up, like, one, two, three.
We made a deal, and he was very gallant;
I like J.U., and he likes me.

Rockets?
They’re no longer on his dockets;
I’ve got Kim in both my pockets;
These aren’t just flukes—
He’s quashing his nukes!

I’m very proud of how I have succeeded;
The Nobel Prize will soon be mine.
I’m just exactly what this country needed;
I may just be (don’t laugh) DIVINE.