Clyde Always

BACK  |  CONTENTS  |  NEXT The Emphysemic Dinosaur Some sixty million years ago,in a prehistoric town,where flakes of hot, volcanic ashforever tumbled down,there lived a gruff tyrannosaurwhose claws were tinted brown. This emphysemic dinosaurwas always blowing smokein spite of much admonishmentfrom fellow dino-folk.“Keep lightin’ up like that,” they’d say,“and, soon enough, you’ll croak!” But, undeterred, […]

Clyde Always

BACK  |  CONTENTS  |  NEXT The Cautionary Tale of Scrollin’ Joan There once was a girl called Scrollin’ Joanwhose face was always glued to her phone.From the time she was just a couple years old,day-in and day-out she scrolled and scrolled.If ever her feed would scroll to a stop,“No matter,” she’d say. “I’ll scroll to […]

Clyde Always

BACK  |  CONTENTS  |  NEXT Extra Innings At a glistening diamond, some boys once met—a dozen and six in all.On an afternoon they would never forgetthey picked up a game of ball. The pitchers—they pitched, and the catchers—they caught;each batter—he strove for a run,but after those first nine innings were foughtthe tally was 1 to […]

Clyde Always

BACK  |  CONTENTS  |  NEXT A Waiter’s Plight He’d rather not have served itafter such a busy night,but still he offered them dessertbecause he felt it right,and though they didn’t want itas their belts had gotten tight,they ordered a dessert from him(but just to be polite). Clyde Always is an accomplished cartoonist, poet, painter, novelist […]

Too Rare

by Clyde Always “An Aberdeen Angus cow… was born with an extra leg growing from his forehead, which saved him from going to the slaughterhouse.” —PetHelpful Boeuffity-hoofity! Aberdeen Anguses, bred for their flesh on which gladly we sup, envy their fellow whose cephalomelia spared him from slaughter (he had a leg up).

Summer/Fall 2023 ISSUE: Table of Contents

Featured PoetJean L. Kreiling Spotlight: Jean L. Kreilingby Maryann Corbett Book Reviewsby Barbara Egel Poems by…Clyde AlwaysDamian BalassoneBruce BennettJerome BettsDan CampionDuane CaylorAidan ChafeBrooke ClarkEdmund ContiD.A. CooperMaryann CorbettPat D’AmicoJennifer DoddKelly Scott FranklinDaniel GalefDavid Lee GarrisonRich GlinnenJane GreerJulia GriffinMax GutmannDavid HedgesRobin Helweg-LarsenJan D. HodgeA.M. JusterSteven KentPhilip KitcherAnja KonigPeggy LandsmanLynda La RoccaJenna LeSimon MacCullochBruce McGuffinBob McKentySusan McLeanJoe MedeirosWarren […]

Book Reviews

BACK  |  CONTENTS  |  NEXT If you have a book you’d like considered for a review in Light—one that includes a large helping of comic verse and was published within the previous 12 months, or will be published in the next eight—please send a copy to:Barbara Loots4741 Central St.Ste. 601Kansas City, MO 64112(Pre-print-run electronic copies may […]


by Clyde Always “Doctors use breast implants to save lung transplant patient who nearly died from vaping” —New York Post There once was a man from Missouri who vaped ‘til his lungs were a slurry. His surgical nurse thought the doc was perverse when he called for “two D-cups—and hurry!”

Damian Balassone

BACK  |  CONTENTS  |  NEXT Larkin was a Larrikin Larkin was a larrikin; Larkin was a toad. He liked to take his lady friends to Cemetery Road and share a pot of English tea, way back in nineteen sixty-three. Larkin was a larrikin;Larkin was a hoot.He boogied with librariansbehind the library chute. He shimmied like […]


by Clyde Always “A naked man was detained on Monday after air travelers spotted him proudly sauntering through Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport. Eye-popping video shows the man—without any baggage in sight or a stitch of clothing…” —New York Post Look at my carry-on! Packing’s a snap. It’s a pleasure to handle and fits on my […]


by Clyde Always “Woman is ‘humbled’ when Hinge date asks to pop her pimple” —Independent This fella I’m seeing— he isn’t too fussy. When asked why he likes me, he answered: “You’re pussy.”

Flipping Out

by Clyde Always “‘No-Quit’ Notice In McDonald’s Forbidding Employees From Quitting Sparks Angry Debate…” —Yahoo! News “I’ve banned the act of quitting,” one franchisee explains. “How terribly befitting,” cry those who work in chains.


by Clyde Always “Handbag ‘smaller than a grain of salt’ sells for over $63,000” —CNN Tersity-pursity, Big Apple artisans crafted a miniscule Louis Vuitton. One who is holding this infinitesimal bag might articulate: “Dammit, it’s gone!”


by Clyde Always “Doctors in Sri Lanka remove ‘world’s largest’ kidney stone…” —New York Post A kidney stone 28 ounces in mass? Hard pass.


by Clyde Always “A Georgia man was so unhappy with his 6-foot frame that he spent more than $100,000 on a Turkish leg-lengthening surgery to add 7 inches to his height.” —New York Post Stumpity-lumpity, leg-stretching surgery boosts one in stature? To this, I retort: any procedure so uneconomical must leave you feeling a tiny […]