Condimented
“… Joey ‘Jaws’ Chestnut gobbled his way to a 15th win Monday at the Nathan’s Famous
Fourth of July hot dog eating contest, powering down 63 hot dogs and buns
at the annual exhibition of excess.”
—CBS
“‘Most people relate to feeling really bloated and tired after Thanksgiving,’
Chestnut told Insider. ‘It’s kind of like that, except really, really bad.’”
Biggledy-piggledy
Joey the Juggernaut
once again answered the
annual call,
leaving his rivals, though
hypercompetitive,
simply unable to
ketchup at all.
Wienery-winnery
Chestnut the Champion
won the event by a
staggering length;
facing a daunting and
incomprehensible
challenge, he doggedly
mustard his strength.
Chompity-champity
“Jaws” the Phenomenon
stood on the podium
sporting a grin;
fending off imminent
gastrointestinal
torment, he managed to
relish the win.
Not Yet Main Stream
“Human urine can be used as a safe and effective crop fertilizer… ‘[We] could grow a significant
portion of our dietary needs just from the nutrients in our urine.’ … [R]esearchers have been
advancing urine-treatment technologies and studying people’s perception of pee-based fertilizers…”
—USA Today
Piddledy puddledy
urine technology
promises farmers a
major advance,
though in some quarters its
avid supporters are
overexcitedly
peeing their plants.
Bladdery splattery
urine technology,
radically changing how
farming is done,
isn’t yet mainstream, but
by definition is
incontrovertibly
still number one.
Hippity drippity
urine technologists
merely request, when your
bladder decants,
modest donations to
agrobiology;
all they are saying is
give pee a chance.