(A formerly bowlegged man receives two new knees)
His surgeon has replaced Mike’s knees
With new, prosthetic joints,
Replacing his ( )
Please bypass mega marts and stop
At a deli run by Mom ’n’ Pop.
Shun Barnes-and-Noble stores for good;
Shop bookstores in your neighborhood.
Don’t buy from Office Max. Prefer
Instead your local stationer.
And darken not Home Depot’s door,
But patronize your hardware store.
Life’s stressful for the little guy
When everyone about to buy
Hindsight Little Willies
Little Davy in his trap
Caught raccoons, then made a cap.
Ah, how stylishly he strode!—
À la mode till Alamoed.
Doug, clairvoyant little kid,
Would vow, “I shall return!”—then did;
Then say “Old soldiers never die”—
Which made him one-for-two. (Nice try.)
When Mommy sent him out for tea,
Young Chris set out with grand esprit,
And then got lost. The knucklehead
Came home with cigarettes instead!
Little Caesar, nasty Nero,
Would become an anti-hero,
Fiddling, when a Democrat
Would’ve held a Fireside Chat.
Petit Jean-Paul would long endure
A rash, with oatmeal baths the cure.
In one he perished in Paree;
The oats were steel-cut (as was he).
Bob McKenty remembers when there were numerous print periodicals that not only welcomed, but paid for light verse. Fortunately, he kept his day job.