As you grow old, your docs decree
You need a colonoscopy.
The drugs are good, you’ll sleep right through,
you won’t remember what they do,
and then the best part lies before us
as merrily you join the chorus.
Inside the post-op room you wait
while colons tunefully deflate.
Today no matter what you do,
your flatulence is good for you.
When I depart for parts unknown
I like to give my dog a bone
or chunk of rawhide she can chew
to while away an hour or two,
and help derail her train of thought
from how refrigerators ought
to come with dog doors, or from when
that guy with thumbs might come again
to put some dog food on the floor,
and why he didn’t put down more.
The Mad Scientist
My friends all agree I’m quite mad.
I may not be perfectly sane ….
But really would that be so bad?
I do have a very good brain.
A monstrously huge cerebellum
with really impressive displacement.
I think that I’d better not tell ’em
it’s in a jar down in the basement.
Bruce McGuffin has been writing light poetry for years, despite the long-ago urgings of his high school English teacher to give it up. His poems have appeared in Light, Lighten Up Online, and Parody. When he is not writing poetry he plays with radios at a research center near Boston. Although he has been an adult for many years now, he still feels the urge to stand on a tree stump when he sees one.