I live on the Moon in a comfortable house,
I sleep in a comfortable bed.
But one thing I never find comfy one bit
Is a cow jumping over my head.
The Moon is the cheerfulest place you could live,
And the friendliest place you could visit.
But mooing and swooping a path through our sky
Every night isn’t courteous, is it?
I totally get it—the party got wild,
The spoon and the dish ran away.
Natural enough that a frisky young calf
Should be up for a new way to play.
But let’s all agree it’s gone on long enough—
Night after night the same leap,
The same horns and hooves flying by overhead,
Disturbing a Moon-dweller’s sleep.
If the cow wants to jump now and then, that’s OK,
Every creature deserves a good lark.
But spare us some nights with our sky undisturbed,
Just earthglow, the stars and the dark.
So, please, if your family has a pet cow,
Or you plan to acquire one soon,
No matter what else you may train it to do,
Teach it not to jump over the Moon.
Chris O’Carroll is a writer and an actor. He has had prizewinning poems in Literary Review, New Statesman, The Oldie, and The Spectator. His “Dogs Must Be Carried” won third prize in a Flash 500 Humour Verse Competition earlier this year, and he has been a frequent contributor to Lighten Up Online.