Our plants—they grow like weeds!—are legal now.
We raise these babies from prime, proven seed,
As many as our State laws will allow.
Each year, we harvest more crop than we need.
We press gift bags on friends and family—
Both herb and cookies (homemade with homegrown).
Moist, chewy fruitcakes laced with THC
The minds of all our Christmas guests have blown.
We’re on the lookout for new recipes.
Try skewered buds to garnish your martini.
What can we do to make you take some, please?
Help! Ganja has become the new zucchini.
Mental Hospital Seeks Klingon Speaker
“The county would pay a Klingon interpreter only in the unlikely case
he or she was actually called into service.”
It’s not a patient on the run they seek.
They have a job for you. Your fluency
From long years as a Trekkie cosplay geek
Has paid off with this opportunity.
If they have residents who will not speak
In any other language, you will be
Possessed of a UN translator’s chic
As you interpret for their therapy.
Your friends and family once rolled their eyes
And snarked about the life you ought to get.
Now all of them are in for a surprise:
Nerdplay has nursed a lucrative skill set.
Your travels with the Starship Enterprise
Have beamed you to your strangest new world yet.