Chris O’Carroll


Vampire Desire

Though A is delicious, and B is nutritious,
While AB is rich and complex
Like a vintage Bordeaux, undead epicures know
That type O is better than sex.

Ask any au fait Transylvanian gourmet.
No drug that a junkie injects
Provides half the pleasure of this ruby treasure,
For type O is better than sex.

O is more than OK. OMG! O’s Olé!
It’s O that I want from your necks.
To you mortals, “big O” is the best, but I know
That type O is better than sex.


The hawk moth has evolved an adaptation
To help it thwart a bat’s echolocation.

With sonic pulses from its genitalia,
The moth can cause a sonar system failure.

Surely the Marvel Universe should feature
A superhero patterned on this creature.

He’s bitten by some souped-up moth, and soon it
Transpires that he can blast sound from his unit.

The star of an X-rated comic book, he
Would choose to use his power to score nookie.

Crime-fighting wouldn’t be his avocation.
Instead, he would apply his good vibration

To romance, cocksure no guy can go wrong
With pick-up lines like “Wanna hear my schlong?”


Chris O’Carroll is a writer and an actor. In addition to his previous appearances in Light, he has published poems in Angle, The Higgs Weldon, The New Verse News, The Rotary Dial, and Snakeskin, among other print and online journals, and also in the anthologies The Best of the Barefoot Muse and 20 Years at the Cantab Lounge.