David Hedges


Cotswold Flasher Bitten By Victim’s Dog
—Headline, BBC News

Nobody saw the flasher prowling
Cotswold streets like a thief.
“Short and slim,” said Sergeant Dowling,
Himself a side of beef.

“According to the victim, bless her,
The bloke had bluey-brown eyes.
Was what she dubbed a crack undresser,
Trousers to his thighs.

“The victim, bless her, carried a terrier.
Growl, and the bloke was bitten.
Most likely, next time he’ll be warier.”
And that’s the news from Great Britain.


purpleLDavid Hedges is the author of Petty Frogs on the Potomac, political satire in rhymed verse, and five chapbooks, most recently A Funny Thing Happened on My Way to a Geology Degree. Poems have appeared in Able Muse, Light Quarterly, Lighten Up Online, Measure, Poet Lore, Poetry, & others.