The more I see of Man, the more I feel
That Eve was never fashioned from his chest,
But vice versa, in this sort of deal:
God first made Woman with an extra breast
And knew that she was fair, but Eve said, Nay!
My crowded bosom is a needless strain.
The Lord agreed and threw one breast away,
Forgetting it until He came again.
Then Eve declared, Each creature hath a mate
But me, and, Deity, I’m getting bored!
So God replied, You’re right, I shall create
A Man from you, and Eve cried, Thank you, Lord!
Then God said: Hold off thanking Me, a bit.
Let’s see, where did I put that useless tit?
(A different version of this poem appeared in The Style Invitational, the weekly humor/wordplay contest of The Washington Post.)
Frank Osen‘s poetry has appeared in various journals. His first collection, Virtue, Big as Sin, was awarded the 2012 Able Muse Award. He is a member of the board of directors of The Foundation for Light Verse, Inc., which publishes Light.