Let Me Count the Ways
(with apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning)
How do I dodge you? Let me count the ways.
I dash away and hide at the mere sight
of you so you can’t say AGAIN how bright
your children are. For mine, you have no praise!
You bring huge stacks of photographs to work
so I can see how great your children look.
I eat lunch in my car and read a book,
eluding you—HA HA!—you selfish jerk.
The last two Saturdays you tried to call;
but, girl, I’m WAY too smart to answer you.
Because you’re full of arrogance and gall,
I’d be assailed by rambling boasts in lieu
of taking my kids shopping at the mall
and loving time when you aren’t in my view!
Janice Canerdy is a retired high-school English teacher from Potts Camp, Mississippi.
She has been writing for decades. Her poems have appeared in numerous publications,
including Light, The Road Not Taken, Lyric, Parody, Bitterroot, Society of Classical Poets
Journal (and online), Westward Quarterly, Lighten Up Online, Saturday Evening Post, and
the contest journals of the Mississippi Poetry Society and the National Federation of State Poetry
Societies. Her first book, Expressions of Faith (Christian Faith Publishing), was published
in December 2016.
She has been writing for decades. Her poems have appeared in numerous publications,
including Light, The Road Not Taken, Lyric, Parody, Bitterroot, Society of Classical Poets
Journal (and online), Westward Quarterly, Lighten Up Online, Saturday Evening Post, and
the contest journals of the Mississippi Poetry Society and the National Federation of State Poetry
Societies. Her first book, Expressions of Faith (Christian Faith Publishing), was published
in December 2016.