Carpal-Tunnelist Lament
Carpe diem—seize the day—
Non-carpal-tunnelists may say,
Seizing all things left and right.
Carpe noctem—seize the night.
Carpe lumen? Seize the light.
Seize—with ever-growing clout
While flinging Latin terms about—
Vinum (wine) and vitam (life).
Carpe uxorem (a wife).
But as they’re seizing, do they grasp
That carpal-tunnelists can’t clasp
Or seize or grip this Latin muddle?
Carpal diem. Carpe tunnel.
Look around and watch them struggle—
Gripping, grasping, seizing, clasping.
Every morning you can see them—
Carpe tunnel. Carpal diem.
Seize the day; unseize the muddle.
Carpe diem, carpal tunnel!
Jennifer Dodd holds a B.A. in English from Miami University and an M.A. in Romantic Literature from the University of York. When not writing, she enjoys spending time with her family and experimenting with plant-based recipes.