Jerome Betts


Variations On A Theme by Parker

The Embarrassing Version

Men never make passes
At girls who leak gases.

The Climber’s Version

Men scarcely make passes
At girls in crevasses.

The Slimmer’s Version

Men rarely make passes
At girls who eat masses.

The Church-Crawler’s Version

Men sometimes make passes
At girls who rub brasses.

The Lamour Version

Men often make passes
At girls who wear grasses.

The Rabbie B. Version

Burns always made passes
At lassies wi’ tassies.


Unsweet Revenge

“Darwin’s chronic flatulence has been described
 as a psychosomatic expression of his guilt for
 displacing God as the prime mover.”

                                      – Bookseller’s catalogue

Did a God who said, ‘‘Let there be light!”
And arranged the Red Sea’s timely parting
Really feel it befitted his might
To have Darwin left endlessly farting?


purpleLJerome Betts lives in Devon, England. His verse, light or otherwise, has appeared in a wide variety of British magazines and anthologies as well as UK, European, and USA web venues such as Amsterdam Quarterly, Angle, Light, Lighten Up Online, The New Verse News, Per Contra, Snakeskin, and Tilt-A-Whirl.