Oak branch—grey shape—squeeze trigger—Shot!
Another pest to fill the pot?
Woodpigeons always use that tree,
The ring-dove, or Columba p.
This can be known as “cushie doo”
Where locals knock back Irn-Bru.*
Off west, toward Wales, it’s called a “quist.”
So, put it down as . . . Damn it! Missed!
*As sampled by AOC at COP26 in Glasgow 2021.
Rendezvous With Death
His tweeds were trim and tasteful,
His dog was quiet and quick;
He stood, all poise and polish,
Where birds come fast and thick.
They heard the beaters tapping,
And then a sudden whirr.
Yes, there it was, his target,
A small black distant blur!
He raised his speckless Purdey,
His timing was A1;
His lead and swing and footwork
Could hardly be outdone.
The shot was tough and sporting
By any creed or code . . .
The pheasant flew to safety—
The fool forgot to load!