Julia Griffin

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Prep-Westeros

I’ve never fancied watching people kill.
It isn’t that I think it should be banned
(Provided no one’s killed against their will),
But my delights are generally bland,
And even when the slaughter’s really grand
I can’t contain it in my comfort zones;
Yet, if the truth be accurately scanned,
I’m doing pretty well with Game of Thrones.

Infanticide and incest make me ill.
I’d rather not see anyone trepanned,
Whatever the trepanner’s charm or skill;
The sort of show where heroes maim and brand
Is not the sort to make my heart expand;
Still, though great piles of perforated bones
On my TV are surplus to demand,
I’m doing pretty well with Game of Thrones.

I know that Cersei Lannister’s a pill.
I know Ned Stark was treacherously canned.
I know the chance is practically nil
That weddings will go off as they’ve been planned.
Winter is coming soon—I understand;
In fact, allowing for a few unknowns
(I may have missed the odd dynastic strand),
I’m doing pretty well with Game of Thrones.

ENVOI
Prince of King’s Landing/ King of Princes’ Land!
I’ve never watched you once, but check your moans:
With trusty Wikipedia to hand,
I’m doing pretty well with Game of Thrones.

Julia Griffin lives in the southeast of Georgia, USA, and/or the south-east of England. She is launching a campaign to have W.S. Gilbert canonized.