Mae Scanlan


An IRS Agent Rewrites “Take Me Out to the Ball Game”

I ask that you transport me out to the rivalry re two competing
I ask that you transport me out to the multitudinous throngs of onlookers.
Purchase for me, if you will, some seeds of the Arachis hypogaea
and caramelized product concocted in a corn popper;
It’s immaterial to me whether or not I ever return to my spot of embarkation.

Permit me to raise my voice and stamp my pedal appendage in hearty
Of the participants from my local township;
Should they fail to achieve victory it would be an infelicitous outcome.
For it’s I, II, III unsuccessful revolutions of the Louisville Slugger
And one is eliminated at the competition involving gentlemen who throw
the orb and those who hit the orb,
An event with historic origins.

Mae Scanlan can’t remember a time when she didn’t write humorous verse. Happily, she’s managed to get a fair amount of it published, in both the U.S. and the U.K. Her other addictions are song writing, photography, and The Washington Post’s Style Invitational.