Mae Scanlan


Prophecy for 2014

The conflicts all across the globe will cease,
And every mother’s child will live in peace.
The economic turmoil will subside,
And fiscal milk and honey will abide.

Assad is going to face the bar of justice;
Politicos will disregard what lust is.
It’s coming back, the helium balloon;
A colony will thrive upon the moon.

Whoever wants a job will be employed,
And NASA will divert an asteroid.
The health care crisis will be done away with,
And actors will decide just whom to stay with.

Re global warming, put your minds at ease;
All glaciers and all icebergs will refreeze.
Al Qaeda: it will meet a swift demise,
And I expect to win the Nobel Prize.

Looming Large

Being “of a size” is getting more and more attention,
So, in that regard, there are some things I’d like to mention:
Among the most respected folks who’ve ever lived, a bevy
Shared one important quality. You guessed it – they were heavy.
A portly U.S. president, one William Howard Taft,
Got stuck inside the White House bathtub. Everybody laughed.
Orson Welles the Corpulent was known for his profundity:
Queen Victoria was called Her Royal (yes!) Rotundity.
Even the Prime Minister, U.K.’s curmudgeon Winnie,
Had a host of monikers, but none of them was “Skinny.”
Segue to the present, and the ever-growing fame
Of Governor Chris Christie, who has meat upon his frame.
Here’s an observation: things and people that are great,
Nine times out of ten you’ll find they carry lots of weight.
Chubbiness is here to stay. Accept it; no dissentions.
Do not scoff or write them off, the folks with bold dimensions!


Mae Scanlan can’t remember a time when she didn’t write humorous verse. Happily, she’s managed to get a fair amount of it published, in both the U.S. and the U.K. Her other addictions are song writing, photography, and The Washington Post’s Style Invitational.