My Unfavorite Things
(with apologies to The Sound of Music)
iPhones and iPads and Smart-tech devices
Driverless cars at ridiculous prices
Amazon packets delivered by drones
These are a few of my favorite moans
Robots and Chatbots and Apps on each topic
Squinting at screens till my eyes go myopic
Emails demanding my time straightaway
These are the things that do NOT make my day
Digital streaming and cybernet hacking
Losing my files as the backup is lacking
Holiday trips that will fly me in space
Here’s why I feel I am losing the race
When my pad pings
And my phone texts
And I’m feeling bad
I try to remember the days of my youth
Before the whole world went mad.
The Parrot Who Wouldn’t Talk
I have a parrot in my house
Her name is Pretty Polly
I thought she’d chat to me all day
And keep me feeling jolly
But ever since I brought her home
Not a single squawk
I never thought a parrot would
Not know how to talk
I tried to coax her into speech
It really is absurd
“Come Pretty Polly! Pretty gal!”
She uttered not a word
I danced, I sang, I told her jokes
Put more seeds on her tray
Then, all at once, my parrot spoke:
“For fuck’s sake go away!”