The Ballad of the Amazon Man
He came like a shipment of comfort and joy,
he came bearing parcels for me,
oh, the Amazon man was a god in a van—
he had hair like the sound of the sea.
He brought me my stories, he brought me my songs,
he brought me my rice-cookers three,
and whenever he called, a big smile would be scrawled
on each box, for he loved only me.
One day, as I sat with a screen full of deals
and my eye on an order or three,
why, who should I spy but my Amazon guy,
with that hair like the sound of the sea?
He was visiting Jackie from over the road!
So I lurked by the curtains to see.
Well, my heart turned to rocks when I spotted the box—
Jackie’s package was smiling at me!
The next day, my Judas returned to my porch
saying, “Sign, if you would, on line three.”
I said, “Oh, that’s a pain—just come in from the rain
for a moment—I’m struggling to see.”
With a flick of my fingers, I bolted the door,
and he looked, disconcerted, at me—
for there, open wide, with a smile on its side,
lay a casket with ratchet straps three.
So now there’s no man in a heavenly van,
no next-day deliveries for me,
no smile and no box—I make do with these locks
of that hair like the sound of the sea.