A mammogram will squeeze you, Ma’am,
So kindly be prepared.
This appendage wedge is cutting edge
And you will be ensnared.
So while they yank and shove and crank,
I recall an old-time zinger:
It was about a laundress, no doubt,
Who got too close to a wringer.
Pat D’Amico is a former elementary school teacher who has always enjoyed packaging life’s ironies in rhyme. She was a regular contributor to The Wall Street Journal‘s Pepper and Salt from 1986 to 2000. Her verses have appeared in The Saturday Evening Post, Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, Light Quarterly, Lighten Up ( book two), Lighten Up Online, Northwest Prime Time, and The Seattle Times. She has three booklets in print: Doggerellies, Grandmarellies, and Thwarting Father Time.