Eggs
You said that you didn’t know how to boil eggs
So I helpfully drew you a chart
And I linked you on Twitter to several blogs
That described the four best ways to start
And I told you six options of how to proceed
Some say start with cold water (they’re wrong)
Then I showed you some pics to compare cooking speed
And how cooked they’ll be after how long
Then you said that your tweet was in fact just a joke
But I thought, to be safe, I should show
You the various possible textures of yolk
Because otherwise, how would you know?
You said could I please please just leave you alone
You were not requesting advice
Then you blocked me on Twitter and I threw down my phone
That’s the last time I try to be nice
Paul Moffett is a writer and teacher whose fiction appears in Agnes & True, Bright Flash Literary Review, Lowestoft Chronicle, and Flights from the Rock (Engen). His poetry appears in Riddle Fence, and he was also the winner of their poetry contest. He lives in St. John’s, NL with his wife, two teenagers, and one beagle.