Peter Goulding


Perfect circles in your crops

Sometimes we just pull out all the stops
and drive our spacecraft seven billion miles
to draw a perfect circle in your crops.

We log your strange reactions in our files,
the mirth it draws well worth the hour spent
in driving spacecraft seven billion miles.

What could have caused this strange configurement?
The weather? Wild beasts? Or people messing?
The mirth it draws is worth the hour spent.

The answer’s plain but you just keep on guessing,
no matter that it stares you in the face—
not weather, wild beasts, nor people messing

but aliens, beamed in from outer space,
come down to get a laugh at your expense
because the answer stares you in the face!

You disregard it, for it makes no sense
that sometimes we might pull out all the stops
to get a belly laugh at your expense
by drawing perfect circles in your crops.

Peter Goulding lives in Dublin Ireland and was lured into poetry by the promise of immense wealth. He has won the Strokestown Humorous Verse competition twice and been crowned Baffle Bard twice. He has written one novel, one book of essays, over two thousand poems and many shopping lists. When not writing, he continues his quest for the perfect pint of Guinness.