by Steven Kent

“Sloshed, plastered and gazeboed: why Britons have 546 words for drunkenness”
—The Guardian

Though soberly some Yanks might mock us,
Brits maintain a lengthy list
Of terms we coin to honor Bacchus:
Plastered, papered, pickled, pissed.

Five hundred forty-six exactly—
Most impressive, don’t you think?
To this I say (and not abstractly):
Mate, let’s have another drink!